Thursday, February 20, 2014



The postman comes when I am still in bed.
"Postman, what do you have for me today?"
I say to him. (But really I'm in bed.)
Then he says - what shall I have him say?

"This letter says that you are president
Of - this word here; it's a republic."
Tell them I can't answer right away.
"It's your duty." No, I'd rather just be sick.

Then he tells me there are letters saying everything
That I can think of that I want for them to say.
I say, "Well, thank you very much. Good-bye."
He is ashamed, and turns and walks away.

If I can think of it, it isn't what I want.
I want . . . I want a ship from some near star
To land in the yard, and beings to come out
And think to me: "So this is where you are!

Come." Except that they won't do,
I thought of them. . . . And yet somewhere there must be
Something that's different from everything.
All that I've never thought of - think of me!

--Randall Jarrell

"All that I've never thought of - think of me!"

The other day,  out walking, I thought, I wonder if heaven if there's another color, a new color, a color beyond or outside the colors we know on earth. Wouldn't that be wild? Think of it: no human being can imagine or create a color other than the colors we already have.  

Maybe there is such a color. And maybe it's thinking of us!


  1. At 4:30 every morning, I wake up naturally and begin my day with dark, quiet, candlelight, coffee and 40 minutes of prayer. Recently, in feelings of desolation, my final prayer has been, "Speak Lord, your servant is listening," so that I can try to get a clear message back to soothe my soul for the day. Well, twice this week after finishing my prayers, I went to the computer and opened your blog, read your words, and I swear it was like God Almighty came through my PC and spoke directly to me. So thank you, Heather, for being a channel of the Holy Spirit, speaking words that resonate and comforting me in ways you will never, ever know. Thank you.

  2. For some reason your post reminds me of this quote that was on Goodreads today:

    "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anaïs Nin

  3. We think and then we reach the limits of thought and our hearts cry out in anguish at all our limitations, not least of all our inability to abandon ourselves completely, to let the hell go, to rest. We do toil for the bread we eat, in every sense of the word bread, and every sense of the word toil.

    That made me think of St. Thomas Aquinas on the Eucharist:

    "Material food first changes into the one who eats it, and then, as a consequence, restores to him lost strength and increases his vitality. Spiritual food, on the other hand, changes the person who eats it into itself. Thus the effect proper to this Sacrament is the conversion of a man into Christ, so that he may no longer live, but Christ lives in him; consequently, it has the double effect of restoring the spiritual strength he had lost by his sins and defects, and of increasing the strength of his virtues."

  4. exhaustion as a gift. Thank you Heather. My children and I have been abandoned by their father. I put limits on abusive behavior I was no longer willing to accept. He would not change and is long gone. With no contact for almost a year. It is 5:21 am and I have stopped for a break. I am a pediatric nurse and I must work nights to support us. My patient made a remarkable turn around in the last few hours and I have hope all will be well tonight. I will sleep for a few hours and then get ready to welcome my kids home from school. I have been complaining to God about being so tired. But in the last few days I have been striving for more silence and gratitude. Your post has help me to see that my work is exhausting but for several hours it makes thinking about myself and my kids' problems impossible. And sleep is heavy, all consuming and peaceful.


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